Leaving a Long Term Relationship

I tell you I rejoice today when I think about how I followed my own heart and moved on from the man everyone else thought I should marry. It was one of those times in my life when I was so torn up. I had dated this guy for three years - liked him and thought he was a great person, but something just was not right. Maybe we were too much alike. By everyone else's opinion he fit the perfect profile, had every worldly commodity you could think of and was a good person. But something was missing and though I could not figure it out, it just was not right.

So the best thing that I ever did for myself was to ask my favorite aunt who had a very successful marriage, how do you know when you are in love? She gave me a simple answer, "You will know when you know." That ended my dilemma. I said to myself if I don't know and it's been 3 years then there really is a problem. So I very kindly moved on. I distanced myself so that there would be no temptations to undo what I had just done. That was the hardest, hardest, hardest decision I had ever made, but it was the absolute best thing that I ever did for myself. It released him and it released me and we both found someone better suited.

Within nine months of that event I met and married the "you will know when you know." This relationship was completely real and completely right. Moments had determined what three years could not obtain. He is something else. Something wonderfully else and we are complete opposites. There is never a boring moment in our lives. My close friends still joke about how I married the man my family had not even met until a few days before the wedding when we flew in to have the big day. He took me totally out of character. Up until that point for me personally it was a cardinal sin for me to ever encounter anyone that did not have parental approval. So people still laugh about it because it really was a big deal. My parents did not know what to think, do or say. But right before the wedding, mom finally cracked - "I'll give you two weeks, then I'm coming to CHECK HIM OUT." And she did. Camped out until she felt I was okay and had not lost my mind. It was so funny when she left, she pulled me aside and whispered in my ear, "he passed inspection." Until the day she died they had a great relationship.

So do you need to move on? Actually no one can answer that but you. I'm going to give you the same wisdom my aunt gave me concerning love - you will know when you know and I will add, if you don't know, be selfless, release him so that you both can find your better half.