Friday, April 27, 2007

Relationship - Happiness Is Not For Asking

Happiness is the primary need of all of us. All of us want to be happy and avoid pain. The beginning of any relationship also depends upon how happy we are with each other. But we also derive happiness from what we achieve on our own. An engineer is very happy when designs something very well. So is a homemaker who she manages to cook something that is loved by every family member. We all derive happiness in many ways. Sometimes making others feel happy makes us happy. Sometimes walking amongst and marveling at the nature makes us happy.

Some people are very happy playing with children. Everybody has something, which makes him/her happy. How do you feel happy? What makes you happy? I feel happy if my clothes are right. If anything goes wrong with my clothes, I feel very unhappy. We all have such fancies and these fancies make us human. This way people get happiness in many ways.

What if we begin depending on our partner to make us happy? How does that affect our relationship? 'If you buy me good presents, I feel happy. If you take care of my emotional needs, I am happy. If you show that you love me, I am happy. My happiness essentially depends on how you make me happy. It is your duty to do that. If you are not making me happy, you are erring. You are breaking the relationship. You are running away from your responsibility.' What if somebody takes this attitude?

Such an attitude will surely make your partner very unhappy and will kill the relationship soon. Happiness is a two way street. Make him/her happy and give him/her a chance to make you happy. Let both of you show care for each other. Before asking for happiness from others, we must learn to feel happy ourselves.

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Thursday, April 26, 2007

Jewish Matchmaking

So how do you find your bashert, your soul mate your predestined one?
From the beginning of Torah, as the Scripture reveals, that the Jewish people had kept and followed their sacred covenant with God.

Marriage was considered on of the holy and blessed events!


One the main traditions of Jewish people was a Matchmaking, and is a serious business, and considered a big Mitzvah for the person who is appointed to arrange marriages by introducing possible mates.

It was important for Jewish people to have a matchmaker in order to make the connections between two families for marriage.

The Matchmaker acted a liaison between potential mates; going back and force from the families discussing the arrangements and conditions of their children's marriage. The parents of the potential bride and groom would discuss the dowry and any other conditions that would make the deal.

Once the Jewish Matchmaker made the agreement between two families, the wedding arrangements would be made.
In the most religious families, the bride and groom would never see each other before the wedding day. The future bride and groom would only meet at the time of their wedding ceremony for the first time.

And in those times, the marriages did work whether it was for love or just for the sake of it. Jewish people had treated marriage as a consecrated covenant. Many marriages survived a lifetime!

Obviously, the times changed from the time of our ancestors;
as well as our overview on marriage, relationship and dating.
Would we be acquiring the service from a professional Jewish Matchmaker today? Not a bad idea if you ask me?

Now days, however the services of the Jewish Matchmaker would be
Altered in many ways. First of all, in any civilized society the potential mates would definitely want to meet each other first. Second, there would not be any negotiation between the families, because our parents should be giving us blessing and the advise; but we have to be the ones making a decision for life!
And the amount of dowry that would come with the bride, should be eliminated, since now days men and women both make the money!

The Jewish Matchmaker would obtain information about the bride and groom; their personality, carrier and hobbies.

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Wednesday, April 25, 2007

My Boyfriend is a Looser

Are you sick and tired of dealing with your dead beat boyfriend? Does he just sit around all day long and wait for you to bring him dinner or clothes? Are you wondering how you can get away from him when you feel like everything in your life is just going wrong? This article will focus on these questions and give you some insight on what you must do to drop your boyfriend before he takes you for everything you got.

Dating can be a fun experience at times and then at other times, it can be a total nightmare. If you feel like your boyfriend is a complete disaster, then you must tell yourself that it is time to move on. You have to convince yourself that dating this man will only destroy your life. I am a straight man and I must tell you that kicking your lazy boyfriend to the curb is the best thing that you can do for yourself. Sometimes you just have to let someone go in your life if they are lazy and unconcerned about your physical feelings on a daily basis. There are certain things that you should never tolerate.

You should never tolerate a boyfriend that sits home all day and doesn't even try to look for work. This may be someone that feels like they have no purpose or someone that feels like their life is on a down hill curve. You can find a dead beat boyfriend anywhere and they are usually not found on the job.

If you have fallen in love with your boyfriend, then you have to learn how you can separate yourself from him. The only way to separate you from a dead beat boyfriend is to tell yourself that he is not good for me at least ten times a day. This will allow your mind to absorb the fact that he is no longer good to keep around. He will only destroy your life. A dead beat boyfriend is like having someone around that you cannot stand and actually have to put up with because you love them. Is that your situation?

You have to come to the realization that this man will never change. He will live his life never wanting to succeed at anything. You have to protect yourself from total destruction and realize that at times you cannot predict what will happen next with this guy. All that you know is that he is taking advantage of you over and over again.

It is important to stand on your own two feet and realize that you have to say the magic words to him "get out of my life." That will give him the clear message that you are not happy with who he is as a person and you certainly don't want to put up with him any longer. I want to tell you the honest truth from a guy's perspective. If you don't get rid of this guy now, he is only going to destroy your life.

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Friday, April 20, 2007

Top 4 Surefire Ways to Attract a Relationship

Janis was a success at business. Mid-career she rose to executive level at her company. She enjoyed balance at home with gardening and fitness. She had a good life, but something was missing—a heart-felt connection. Someone to share the daily ups and downs. Someone to experience life with. She followed these four steps to find her match. You can too.

Here are 4 surefire ways to attract a fulfilling relationship.

1. Know what you want.

What do you really want in a relationship? Type or write down the 10 most important qualities you want in a significant other. If you could attract your ideal partner, what characteristics and interests would he or she have? For example, Janis put, "great communication, fun and fitness" at the top of her list. You can include what you'd like this person to look like and also who he or she is on the inside. List physical attributes you prefer, personality styles you like and interests that match or contrast with your own. Then start to notice the people around you who possess the qualities you're looking for.

2. Know what you don't want.

OK, you know what you want. Now ask yourself: What don't I want in a relationship? After your list of relationship wants, type or write down 10 things you don't want. A former client of mine says it well: "My ex-husband was dynamic, attractive and very fun. He was also an alcoholic. I was still after the fun, attractive, and dynamic parts, just not the alcoholism. It was really crucial for me to identify what I didn't want in a relationship. It made it a lot easier to find the wonderful man I'm with today."

3. Change your mind.

What are your beliefs about relationships? Check out the thoughts that are floating around in your head—they will affect your ability to attract someone. The disempowering beliefs usually speak loudest. For example, Janis used to say to herself, "There are no available good men out there." Could she find evidence in the world to support this? Yes. But she could also find evidence to support a different idea. So she changed her belief to "Exactly the right man is out there for me," and continued to say this to herself. This helped her attract a great life partner whom she adores. Write down 3 of your own disempowering relationship beliefs. Then lock up your inner critic or cynic for 5 minutes, and come up with 3 new beliefs that inspire you.

4. Let your matchmakers know.

If you were looking for a new job, you'd tap into your network. Why should looking for a relationship be any different? Use the matchmakers in your life to help you find your new partner. Don't be shy. Put your ego aside in the name of attracting your ideal mate. Another former client, Jim, did this through an eloquent e-mail. He listed his "wants" and "don't wants" in a relationship and sent the list to people he thought would be good "recruiters." He now enjoys a relationship with a local athletic mother of one – an instant family! As business owner Kathleen recently said, "If you truly want to be in a relationship, then all your actions will line up with that intention. In the past, I've asked friends if they knew anyone who might be a good fit for me." Be clear with your friends on what you're looking for. And thank them for sending potential partners your way.

Start the process of attracting a relationship today. Use these 4 steps to get you started. You'll be glad you did.

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Thursday, April 19, 2007

When A Woman Invites You To Watch A Movie Never Really Watch The Movie

Question From A Reader: This woman invited me over to watch a movie at her house at around 10:30 at night.

Shortly afterwards while watching the movie I've got my arm around her and she rests her head on my shoulder. She lies down on the couch sideways and I lay down right next to her.

She is really close to me, while I have got my hands around her. Now I am thinking good I'll be able to kiss her soon.

Around 2 in the morning when I am about to leave, I lean in to kiss her and she turns away!

I don't get it, is she not interested in me?

Answer:

If you got there around 11 at night and then had her lying down next to you shortly thereafter, you likely didn't get a kiss because you were much more interested in watching the movie than making out with her.

At least that is what she might have been thinking or maybe not, the point is you waited till the last minute to kiss her and she said no; then the date ended.

If you invite a woman or are invited by a woman to watch a movie alone at her house, realize that she is expecting you to make a move fairly soon in the movie.

By move I mean a make out session at least.

If you do not make a move during the movie then don't make a move after the movie either, at least that way she will be confused as to why you even came over.

If you do make a move during the movie continue making moves throughout the movie or go home.

Women who invite you over just to watch a movie really are not attracted to you and there is no need for you to be there.

Any movie that you really want to watch you should watch by yourself at home or with friends who you know you will not make a move on.

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Tuesday, April 17, 2007

San Diego Date Ideas - Biking Coronado

Many people think of Coronado as an island, but it's really just a peninsula masquerading as an island; the bulk of it is connected to the mainland down south by a long, thin strip of land called the Silver Strand. But no matter what you call it, Coronado is definitely one of the more scenic places to visit in San Diego. The island (I say it too) has over 15 miles of dedicated bike paths that will take you along San Diego Bay, the Pacific Ocean, the golf course, under the Coronado Bay Bridge, and down Silver Strand. The nice thing is that the whole area is relatively flat, allowing you to enjoy terrific views of the San Diego Skyline, Pacific Ocean, and beaches without wearing yourself out. Add in a stop at the Hotel Del Coronado to explore the grounds and white sand beaches of this world-famous hotel and you have a great date in San Diego.

Now for the nuts and bolts. If you're staying downtown, I'd recommend taking the ferry across the bay and renting bikes right there at the Coronado ferry landing. To get there head over to the San Diego ferry landing at the intersection of N. Harbor Drive and Broadway, the ferry leaves every hour on the hour from 9am-9pm. After crossing the bay you'll find Bikes and Beyond right there. The company offers beach cruisers, road bikes, tandem bikes, and surreys, and while they don't take reservations, there are generally plenty of bikes available. If you're worried, call them ahead of time at (619) 435-7180 and ask what their current inventory's like. Those outside of walking or taxi distance can drive over the Coronado Bay Bridge and park at the Ferry Landing. You'll miss out on the ferry ride, but you'll also miss out on searching for places to park and paying for it like you would on the San Diego side.

Rent your transportation and then begin a leisurely ride south along the coast, going under the bridge and next to the golf course until you reach Glorietta Blvd. Take a left and follow Glorietta all the way down to the Hotel Del. After spending some time walking through the hotel interior, grounds, beach, and shops, relax with lunch at Sheerwater or Sunday brunch in the Crown Room. When you've finished lunch, you can bike around the center of town, head north along the coast up to the Naval Air Station and golf course, or continue south down Silver Strand. If you're feeling energetic, head south on Silver Strand (ocean side) and ride the asphalt trail that runs the length of the peninsula. It's a completely flat, 18-mile round trip with views of the ocean on one side and the bay on the other.

Don't forget to bring a hat and sunblock. Have a great time!

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Friday, April 06, 2007

One Day to Live

If you had only one day to live, what would you do? You might first take care of your loved ones by making sure that all of your financial affairs, and any loose ends are tidied up. Then you might get a hold of anyone that you need to say something to. Surprisingly, you would more often than not have something nice to say. Faced with only a day, the fear that feeds resentment melts away.

Then you might eat some ice cream, or smoke a few cigarettes, maybe watch a sunset for the last time, noticing how exquisitely beautiful it is, and maybe pet your dog. And that night, you would hold the one you love, very tight, and notice how beautiful she is as well, and always has been.

Then you might reflect on your life; the mistakes you made, the triumphs, thinking not only of your own successes, but the assistance you received from all the unselfish people in your past, the ones you never remembered, until this day; the ones that helped you out.

Maybe you will wonder what in the world you were thinking about when you gambled away so many possibilities of expressing love. My, how quickly life goes by. And perhaps you now understand, at last, the really important things, and how you could have made life so much easier for so many others. But you did the best you could with what you had, and as Frank Sinatra once said,"You did it your way."

And you might wonder, why can't I live each day like this, as if it's my last? Such a good question. What is it, exactly, that moves your attention off things that are so important? Why is it that you seem to think you have so much time left to do these things later? You can never be sure you know.

You might have only a day.

Monday, April 02, 2007

Why Do You Talk To Women On The Phone

The phone is a tool for men to meet women with by asking them out on dates and to meet somewhere.

The phone does not increase her attraction level for you.

In fact, the longer you talk on the phone with a woman the more you risk decreasing her attraction level for you by saying the wrong thing.

So what about those people who claim to have talked on the phone for hours in order to create this wonderful connection and attraction for each other?

It is true that this can happen, however, if the man had simply told her to meet somewhere and hung up the phone, that same wonderful connection and attraction for each other still would have occurred.

Women already have their minds made up before they pick up the phone and there is nothing you can do to change that fact for the better once you are on the phone with her.

The other thing to remember is, when you do meet in person whatever happened on the phone in no way influences what will happen off of it.

In fact, the only thing talking to a woman on the phone might do is increase your confidence level with her, if you feel as if you made a genuine connection with her.
However, given the fact that you can achieve the same level of confidence with a woman simply by acting as if you are that confident to begin with there is no need to risk everything for such a small benefit.

When it comes to talking on the phone with a woman it is always in your best interest to simply set-up a meeting in person with her then end the call.